The Energy Behind Feeling Stuck

Do you ever have a feeling of being stuck? Like maybe something in your life just isn’t evolving – maybe it’s your marriage, or your career, or your friendships – or something else. 

Everything is meant to evolve. That’s the nature of energy; it wants to move, to flow, to change. In the ancient wisdom traditions, they say that if energy doesn’t move – if it stagnates or otherwise isn’t able to flow – then it creates all kinds of problems for us.

One of the things that causes energy not to flow is repression. You’re probably familiar with the concept; it’s the habit or practice of holding our feelings or emotions back, or holding them down, or pushing them away. 

Repression is rampant in our culture. Oppressive systems, like the one we live in, actually thrive on it. We have all been taught how to do it, and there are times when it was – or is – truly necessary for our survival.

One place where we might have learned to repress is in childhood. If we grew up in a family where we were taught that certain aspects of ourselves were not welcome – perhaps we were told not to show our feelings, or not to express ourselves authentically – then we very likely took that lesson on and in. In many families, if children did not repress they suffered for it in one way or another. Children are quick studies and will always figure out what they have to do to survive.

If this is your story, then it’s likely that repression became a habit for you, and it’s possible that the habit is still with you to this day. If this is you, you’re not alone. This is actually really common.
If you made it through your childhood without learning to repress – lucky you! But, still, you may find yourself having to repress in adulthood to survive a certain situation where you cannot be fully who you are or fully tell the truth. 

When we repress ourselves – whether it’s a habit from childhood or something we are choosing to do as adults in a certain situation (or both!) – we resist and compress our own energy. We create an internal dam, so that our life force is unable to flow freely. 

Over time, there are consequences to regularly damming up our energy; eventually, the stagnancy creates a physical manifestation; it might be our physical health that starts to suffer, or perhaps our relationships reach a stalemate. Perhaps our creativity starts to dwindle and our projects just don’t really go anywhere… There are SO many ways that this could play out. 

So, here’s what I want to tell you: if you are feeling stuck in any aspect of your life, consider how much of your own energy you are repressing. Weirdly, the two areas might seem totally unrelated – maybe you are repressing a lot of your energy at work but feeling stuck in your marriage – but, trust – it’s all connected! 

To be clear; this doesn’t mean that I am advocating for expressing yourself in a way that is harmful to either yourself or others in the name of “not repressing.” Rather, the invitation is to learn to allow your life force energy to flow internally (and perhaps – if needed – to express it outwardly in a thoughtful way).

Of course, repression isn’t the only way our energy can get stuck. But if what I’m sharing feels resonant for you, then it’s definitely worth being curious about.

If you are struggling with repression, especially if it’s a habit you learned to survive your childhood, I recommend getting support to help you find new patterns and possibilities that better serve who you are today. This is exactly the work I do, and if you feel the call, I’d love to hear from you.

No matter where your repression comes from, a regular (daily, if possible) practice of simply moving energy will be helpful. There are lots of ways to do this. Here are some ideas:

– Aerobic exercise (walking, running, swimming, dancing, etc.)
– Yoga, Qi Gong or other mindful movement practices
– Breathing practices
– Singing, chanting or humming
– Sweating (like in a sauna or hot tub)
– Self-massage
– Bodywork (like massage or Rolfing)

This is not an exhaustive list! Rather, it’s meant to be a starting point, and to give you the basic idea. 

After we move some energy, we generally feel better – this is telling us something! We feel better because it helps. And yet some of us may not be moving nearly enough energy relative to how much we’re repressing.

Keep in mind that it is very possible for energy to move too much, or to move in a way that is chaotic and incoherent. And this can cause a whole host of other issues. This is a topic for another day, but for now just remember that this tool of moving your energy isn’t a blunt instrument – it must be used with care. In fact, the more care you use it with, the better your results will be. 

So here’s my advice: check in with your intuition about how the energy wants to move – is today a good day for yoga, or would it be better to go on a walk, or do some singing? Don’t just do your energy-moving practice out of habit – respond to what you’re actually sensing inside yourself that day. Also, do your best to stay present with yourself and connected to your body while you do your energy-moving practice, if at all possible.

If you are feeling stuck in a certain area of your life, remember that getting unstuck isn’t necessarily about changing your external circumstances – at least in the beginning. Often, we must shift internally first. Moving our energy and shifting patterns around repression can both be a big help. Over time, what’s felt immovable may very well begin to move. 

Your natural movement of energy is just that – it’s natural. It’s your birthright. Sometimes, it just needs a little help remembering how to flow.