On Fight, Flight, Freeze and Possibility

Have you ever been outside and scared some poor, unsuspecting animal with your movements?

Sometimes the animal will run away in terror, and sometimes it will do something else—sometimes it will go into what’s called a freeze response.

When an animal freezes, it becomes incredibly still. Its breathing becomes imperceptible. Digestion stops. Heart rate drops. Circulation slows.

It isn’t dead – but it is mimicking death.

This is an incredible survival strategy, employed when the animal senses that it has no other choice; running or fighting isn’t possible, so its last resort is to pretend it’s already dead.

This ingenious mechanism is hardwired into the animal’s brain. It’s not something that the animal consciously chooses to do, but rather something that its brilliant body just knows how to do automatically. 

How amazing.

My Personal Freeze State

Not too long ago, I had the realization that I was in a bit of a freeze state myself.

To be clear-  the freeze state is a spectrum, and one can be frozen and yet still functional. One can also be catatonic. I was on the more functional end of the spectrum. 

To maintain a freeze state, a person (such as myself) will often dissociate from reality. They may feel numb, “floaty”, disconnected, lost, or apathetic. It might be hard for them to know how they’re feeling – or even to sense their physical body at all.

There’s a lot to be frozen about these days. This is a really challenging time to be alive. I imagine you’re experiencing that challenge too. I wonder—how is it going for you?

One of the problems with the freeze response is that it’s hard on the body to function in that state for very long. As one of my mentors says, “it’s a high cost of doing business”. 

Even beyond the physical toll, being frozen also keeps me from showing up in the world the way I want to.

I wonder if you can relate, dear reader. It seems that what is happening in the world is bringing up really big feelings for a lot of us.

Some of those feelings are certainly based in what’s happening now, and for some of us – maybe all of us – those feelings may also be because what’s happening now reminds us of times in the past when we felt powerless and oppressed. 

Perhaps you are also finding yourself in a freeze state. 

How To Tell If You Are In A Freeze State

There are a lot of ways that the nervous system can express a freeze state – too many to list here – but here are some common signs:

• Emotional numbness, apathy, hopelessness, or a foggy feeling
• A sense of collapse
• Slowed breathing, digestion, and circulation
• Stiff muscles and joints
• Trouble concentrating
• Persistent fatigue
• A sense of not fully participating in your life
• Avoiding people
• Withdrawing from the world

A freeze state can last for hours, days, months—or even a lifetime. As I mentioned, you can be frozen and still function.

For some people, freeze isn’t their primary pattern. Instead, they may respond with a different nervous system state called fight or flight. That might look like:

• Aggression
• Agitation
• Restlessness
• Anxiety
• Muscle tension
• Trouble sleeping
• Hypervigilance
• Panic attacks

If you identify with some of the items on both lists, that’s because, as it turns out, you can be in both freeze and fight/flight at the same time. This is actually quite common.

I want to validate whatever you may be experiencing. Our individual experiences are personal and, as I mentioned, likely based not just on what’s happening now, but also on what has happened to us in the past.

We have all, on some level, experienced oppression in the past; Some of us have experienced it through the way we were parented. Some of us through the way we were treated by certain institutions, or by society at large. And all of us also have echos of oppression in our DNA from trauma that our ancestors experienced somewhere in our lineage.

I work with a healer who calls this “pinging a stack.”
It happens when something current (like what we’re living through now) triggers a whole stack of accumulated pain inside us—usually subconsciously.

We then react not only to the present moment, but also to every time in the past when we were unsafe, unseen, dehumanized or otherwise traumatized.

If what is happening in your life and/or in the world is pinging a stack for you, take heart; It is possible to come out of freeze and fight/flight. And just noticing that you are in one or both of these states is an incredibly important first step.

Working With The Fight / Flight / Freeze States

The first thing to remember is that these responses are a biological reaction, and must be treated as such. 

For example, we cannot “jolt” our systems out of a freeze state. This might work temporarily, but then our systems, perhaps sensing a lack of safety and again feeling overwhelmed by whatever we used to try and “jolt” ourselves out of it, will very quickly re-freeze. 

Similarly, we cannot talk our systems out of a fight or flight state. This is not about logic.

Instead, we must come out of these states with great care and kindness towards ourselves – as if we were working with a terrified animal. 

Kind, patient practices – like small, gentle movements, noticing beautiful things in our environment, experiencing sensory pleasures or receiving the embrace of a caring friend can help. 

Other things you can try include:

• Grounding exercises:  Orient to gravity through your body, or otherwise connect your energy with the energy of the earth. 

• Nature: Step outside, without any distractions, so you can really be present with the land.

• Mindfulness: Notice your body, your breath, and whatever is present for you in the moment, without judgment. 

It is also very important to remember that we humans are social creatures. Again, this is our biology. So while it is sometimes possible to come out of these states on our own, it is also sometimes much better, or perhaps necessary, to borrow someone else’s nervous system. 

To that end, If you’re regularly finding yourself stuck in these states, I encourage you to seek support. A trauma-informed healer will understand how these states work and be able to help you safely get out of them.

Coming out of these states is slow work, and requires patience, mindfulness and a constancy in the kindness and reassurance that we offer ourselves. And, it is so worth the effort.

Reacting vs. Responding

If you are finding yourself in a fight/flight or freeze state lately, go easy on yourself. These reactions are what come most naturally to our bodies when we feel threatened.

However, let’s also remember that when we are stuck in these reactions, it limits our ability to respond; 

A deer stuck in the headlights can’t get out of the way of the car. 

I can’t recognize someone’s efforts to reconnect with me if I’m stuck in aggression or judgment.

In these instances, we fall into probability – the outcome of our instinctual reactions – rather than inviting possibility, which comes from our mindful responses.

And the truth is: This is a time when we need to show up and respond.
For ourselves.
For each other.
For the world.
We must invite possibility—because the stakes couldn’t be higher.

Yesterday you spoke to me

about impossibilities

and how certain relationships

lives and moments were not destined to be.

For you, I collected these;

in hope that if you do not trust me,

at least you will believe

these facts from the galaxies.

On Venus (and yes, I know, you will find this bizarre),

it snows in metal and rains in sulphuric acid

and a teaspoon of a dancing neutron star

weighs more than everyone together in the world.

What I am trying to say, my darling,

is that I know you said you wouldn’t survive this day

but across our beautiful universe,

what is impossible is happening everyday.

— Nikita Gill